New Me

So I have started this post several times in the past few months, but today I have come to a realization that there must be a new me. A new me that needs to take care of me first.

You see when I became a wife I focused my life on making sure that the hubby was happy and content, that all his needs are taken care of, that the house is clean, that the time I spent with him was centered around things that he liked to do. Then came the kids, I would not trade them for the world but then they became my world. 2am feedings, dirty diapers, laundry to be done, sitters to find, all while working 40+ hours a week. As they grow there are more and more "jobs" to do. Keep the house clean, keep up on the laundry, make sure lunches are made, homework is done and library books are returned. All while making everyone happy....

Well I think it is time for me, time for me to be able to say that waking up at 4:30 am is "me" time, time for me to take a walk, do the sit ups or just sit on the lappy? But instead I am working on laundry, dishes and other "quiet" things... Is it ok for me to do that or is it selfish? Is it ok to be yourself when you are a wife and mom? Why do I feel guilty for not being able to take the time? So that is why it took me some time to finalize this post, because I have finally realized that it is OK for me to be selfish, to take the time for me. That it is OK that I go to "girls night" when the hubby is home with the girls, that it is OK for me to not feel guilty that I DO take time for me.

Along this journey as a person I have realized that I am a strong person, who can accomplish what goals I set up for myself. I know that the hubby and girls believe in me, that they are my biggest fans, that the signs that the hubby has put around the house 6 months ago will be my saving grace, that I CAN be at goal! In my shower there are 5 goals that were written on the walls with the girls bath crayons, these goals were written almost 3 years ago. These goals one by one have been achieved, one of which was last week. The only one up there now that has not been reached is reaching "goal". Achieving the goal weight that I know deep down that I can meet, but have for some reason or another have sabotaged myself, but NOT any more!

I will reach that final goal, I will reach that it, go shopping with the hubby and enjoy every minute of it! I can do it! I will do it and when I am done I will be there will be a NEW ME!