Sunday, November 28, 2010

Starting A New

Today is the last day of my "old" life! Work life that is! Tomorrow I start a new job, a new career, a new adventure.
I decided two months ago that I was going to take up the offer on the table from my husbands employer to try something new.
A very hard and daunting decision it was, you see I was in my other job for 14 1/2 years! A long time! I grew up there! It was a much a part of me as I was a part of it! I got engaged there, bought my first and only brand new car there, got married there, had two great kids there, made my bestest friend in the whole wide world there (beside my hubs) and I was going to put it all on the line to make me something new! Why? Not sure, could be that something pissed me off, and on a knee jerk decision, I took the hubs boss up on an offer? Could be that something in me knew that it was time to move on, but why? I had the corner office, free roam of what and when I wanted to do it, worked on what I wanted, but something was missing! What? I am not sure.
Will I miss those things, I sure the hell hope so! Will I wonder what I got myself into? You betcha! But will in the long run I be a better more well rounded person? I better!
As I walked out of the hotel for the last time, as an employee, I thought of the first time I walked into the place. The smells that I took for granted, more like got used to. The look of the place, the sounds that I became accustom to, the flow of the place. I knew that there was going to be a lot I would miss, and truthfully not miss. But I knew deep down that it was the right move.
Tomorrow morning as I get ready for the first day "of the rest of my life" I am sure I will wonder what the heck I did, if it was right, if I should call them and say just kidding, I will be in my office in the morning like I am every Monday working on the same forecast?
I feel kinda like it all is dream, that what I did was not really what I did and that I will wake up and it will be just me and all that I know.
I never was one for trying something new, or making my own path. I guess it is time to let my wings get clipped and let myself soar. The voice in my head, keeps telling me that I will do fine, the friends I have talked to have said that there is no doubt that I will do great, but why am I doubting myself? Why is there that nagging feeling that I should stop and go back?
I know that what I have in store for me for the next 6 months will not be easy, that I will have a hard time going from "top dog" to the runt of the litter!
Oh well off to get my "first day of school.... oh I mean first day of work outfit" ready!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

School Daze!

Last week marked another huge step in my life as a mom! No more kindergarten and first grade, we are talking full blown school agers! First and Second grade!
Yes we have hit the years of homework and tears! Last year was a struggle, tears were shed and countless hours of pleading to read and math facts. This year will not be any different, just the fact that there are harder math facts to learn and master and chapter books to read and understand.

There is no doubt that the days will be hard, that the struggles to finish reading will not end in tears. That the math facts will flow easily out their mouths. But let me tell you I am not sure if I am up for the challenge!

I know that we will have fun! But GAWD help me I am not sure if I am going to make it!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Preparing for another year

Well as the calendar pages get torn off, the days get closer and closer to that day of magic, the first day of school. Hard to believe that it is less than 30 days left of this summer vacation. Where has it gone? What have we done? How much will it going back to school cost?

The kids spent most of the summer in classes, of which I feel kind of guilty. I mean they spend 9 months in school and here I am, the mom that puts them in summer school. And only summer school but in classes that will help them in school next year, not even the fun and crafty ones! June 14th until July 23rd they went. Everyday, up by 7 and in class at 8, out of class at 12:30 and then home by 4. Very little time to play and "adventure"!
I guess I feel guilty because when I was little there was no summer school, no "homework" in the middle of June. Oh well it is to make them better later on right? Or was it just an easy way to get out of having them at a sitters? Granted there were fun classes for them to take, but all gone by the time I got around to getting them in them. Math and Reading are fun right?

Why do I feel the need to justify? Maybe because they have less than 30 days left and of which the hubs and I work most of it.
The plans for the summer, never took off. No trip to Great America or any other "fun" place!
So we now stand waiting patiently for the end of summer, getting in as much sun as we can just to make sure that the rest of the year is good! Oh well there is always next summer right?

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

From time to time

From time to time I find myself taking a step back and looking at what we have. Granted we don't have the new house like my brother-in-law has, and not the house with the lake like my father-in-law has, but what I do have is a house that is our home. It is ours (well almost ours) and it is HOME.
There has been may tears that have brought us to this point, not just mine! We have toiled along the way to make it what it is.
We have two great kids. Who are so goofy at times it makes me wonder where they get it from. They are our little princesses and our football players all in one! And God knows we love them to their pretty like pink toeys!
I look at what we have accomplished in the ten years of marriage and I have to say it has been a lot!
From time to time I just have to say it out loud so it stays fresh in my mind!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Sweet Nothings! Happy 12 year Anniversary of getting engaged

In the past week, many memories have come to the forefront with my niece getting engaged. I wanted to share with you a letter I wrote the hubs to show how far we have come!

As time goes by there are certain memories that strike the cords of our hearts. They are the ones that year to year never fade, never diminish, and never go away. The times that will hold dear in your heart until the light fades.

The day that you walked into my life will always hold strong. Standing “tall” on one side of the “fence” while you slouched your way into my heart! Leaping from side to side, to show that you might be able to “accept” me, then being the knight in shining Umbros that saved the day, again and again!

The day that you asked me to be with you for life, chaos like usual all around us! You knew the times would be hard, not as hard as they actual were but you knew they would be there. You stood next to me when times were not so easy or pretty but you never faltered. When you did, you came back for another round, never giving up.
The day we said “I do” was just another step together into the great unknown. An unknown that we were meant to walk together.
Losing those who meant so much, gaining the two that mean more than anything in the world, always by my side, holding my hand no matter what! No matter the pain for either of us, at the end it was more than we could imagine, so much that it has long since been forgotten.

Each day is a new journey, ours to capture, ours to enjoy, ours to concur.
Each conquest is better than the last, each journey we travel together.

Thank you for being my best friend, my partner, my co-conspirator, my love!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

My life on a Merry Go Round

My life on a Merry Go Round says more than I can imagine!
Not only does it seem to rain (I should say SNOW) it pours (rather becomes a Blizzard). But oh well, what can I do.
This year has started to be really good. We (more hubs planning and me just smiling) have set up a great savings plan to pay off our mortgage by the time I turn 40 (5 years from now), we paid off our second mortgage, bought a hot tub to celebrate our 10 year anniversary (in June) and now we just decided to remodel our kitchen (a whole nother post in and of itself).
But at the end of the day I still feel the dizzy sensation that you felt when you were a kid and you stepped off the damn ride.
I have no clue if I am coming or going, whether what we have "decided" on was really what I wanted to do, or just went with it because he is the banker (literally) and it makes sense in his numbers filled mind. He is so obsessed in getting the damn thing paid off that every time he starts to talk about it, I seriously turn off or my brain says "here we go again".
The song lyrics "you spin me right round" continually play in my head as of late, every turn there is something new or old coming up to snag a part of me! No wonder I forgot the kids parent teacher conferences until 5 minutes before the wee little one's! Oh well what to do other than sit on the ride and enjoy it!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Weekly Winners Good Bye '09 Hello '10

What a year it has been!

When I grow up!

I guess there comes a time when you sit back and realize that one day you will have to grow up. That all the planning and scheming will one day come to fruition and that you will be where you once thought you would be. One day you wake up and realize that, yep, I have officially become an adult. But when that day comes will you be ready? Will you be prepared for the next step in your life? Is where you thought you would be where you are or are you on a completely different path with someone who is only a shadow of your former self?

Deep thoughts, hard questions but ones that you must come to face someday right? I mean really at the end of it all who are you is who you are and there really is no changing that right?

Then you realize that there is a time when you need to just man up and deal with it! That no matter how hard you work for something and how hard you try to maintain what it is you want in life, you need to be ready for the day that "it" comes up and bites you in the butt.

This post was started on 11/9, before many long nights and longer days took place. I guess you could say the writing was on the wall! That the premonition may have been there, that I knew deep down there was something brewing. Work has came calling and no matter if you like it or not you answer!

You take into consideration what could have happened it is still worse than what did. Oh well, time to put on the big Girl panties and deal with it! Yeah! Life goes on!